President Obama stymied by SnowOMG!

Interesting news following the "Capital Crippler", "Snowmageddon", "Snowpocolpyse" "SnowOMG"  ...

Sunday, December 20, 2009

ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE. - President Obama, returning from the climate  summit in Denmark was forced to abandon his usual Marine One helicopter trip back to the White House because of the massive snowstorm that  blanketed the Mid-Atlantic.

Secret Service and military security officials huddled into the early hours of Sunday morning to attempt to find a solution to the problem of guiding the presidential helicopter during heavy snowstorms. Rumors that other leaders in snow bound areas have secret "flying device guidance tools" are being investigated.

Reports of "Bumble" sightings increase

Bumbles? Hmmm ...

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

WHITEHORSE, YUKON TERRITORY. - The residents of Whitehorse, a sleepy town closer to Alaska than the rest of Canada, reports an increase in sightings of the legendary "Bumble" also known as the "Yeti" or "Abominable Snowman."


Reports come out of the area of large, white-furred hominids prowling the area following after a company of small caribou and dentists. Experts contacted at the Smithsonian Institute's Natural Science Museum scoffed at reporters' questions noting that the last reputable sighting of the creature was in 1964.


When pressed about possible dangers to U.S. citizens, scientists said if anyone was truly afraid, they should stock up on dental instruments.

Strange twist in U.S. healthcare debate, polar dental plans?

Another entry in the curious doings up north ...

Strange twist in U.S. healthcare debate, polar dental plans?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

WASHINGTON, DC. - The U.S. healthcare debate took a strange twist today as reports from north of Canada come in of a dramatic new development in the area of dental care.

Herbie D. Elf, an employee of North Pole Industries, LLC., has announced that new dentistry services will be offered by NPI as staff are re-aligned from traditional work in the toy industry to fill gaps in the  areas of dentistry, dental surgery, and orthodontics.Mr. Elf promises that services from his vast staff of diminutive dental staff will change the face of dentistry. "Our dentists may be half the size, or even only a quarter, of what you're used to, but we provide 100% off the services you expect,": continued Elf.

The American Dental Association has not issued a statement on these developments, however, a member, speaking on condition of anonymity, has said, "This whole thing smells fishy. Canadian colleagues have noted that Elf has connections with the noted con-man, "Yukon Cornelius" and the questionable leader of the Island of Misfit Toys.

The President and Congressional leaders note that any options that will cut healthcare costs need to be carefully reviewed.

Canadian Con Man, “Yukon Cornelius” At Large

The plot thickens ...

Canadian Con Man, “Yukon Cornelius” At Large

Monday, December 14, 2006

WAWA, ONTARIO – Canadian officials have reported that notorious flim-flam artist Larry Mann, also known as “Yukon Cornelius” has escaped from a minimum security facility in Ontario and was reported traveling by sled in a northerly direction.

Mann, who first came to the public's attention with a scam involving a peppermint mine, was declared mentally competent even though a number of psychiatrists claimed otherwise. Authorities believe that Mann is not dangerous, but if sighted, law enforcement officials should be notified immediately.

Moonracer Alleges “Espionage”

And here's another story ...

Moonracer Alleges “Espionage”

Sunday, December 13, 2006

NEW YORK, NY – King Moonracer of the Island of Misfits toys has filed a formal complaint against the U.S. with the United Nations about alleged “espionage” on the island. Moonracer succeeded his father, Moondancer, in 1955 during a bloodless coup backed by the CIA. The Island of Misfit Toys has been a frequent target of U.S. concern since the Carter Administration when the Consumer Product Safety Commission expressed “concern” over the immigration from the island to the U.S. The Administration officially denies any spying on the Island of Misfit Toys. However, a high ranking official who declined to be named commented that “there’d be no tears at the White House if Moonracer took a long ride on a train with square wheels”.

State Department Official Raises Questions about Santa’s Village

Ran across this today ...

State Department Official Raises Questions about Santa’s Village

Saturday, December 12, 2006

WASHINGON, DC – A State Department official speaking on the condition of anonymity commented that the United States if “very concerned” about transnational activity taking place in and around the North Pole. The primary habitation, “Santa’s Village”, has been placed on a government “watch list” for suspicious activity. The Attorney General’s office had no comment on the story and referred reporters to the State Department.